In Praise of Liverpool’s Seven Sickest Buildings

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It’s Valentine’s Day, time to show some love for Liverpool’s ugliest buildings? After all, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. Here’s our seven for starters - all with hidden beauty, if you know where to look. What’s yours?

1) Royal Sun Alliance Building

It looks a bit like a Minecraft version of the Liver Buildings (it’s supposed to: it’s a Brutalist ‘response’ with its twin peaks) and it’s probably the most divisive tower in town. We happen to love the Royal Sun Alliance’s ‘sandcastle’ building. Now called the Capital Building, it’s replete with Minority Report style elevators (no buttons. They just sort of guess where you want to go).

Someone loves it. Downing paid £51 million for it eight years ago, but plans to change the drab brown concrete cladding have yet to materialise.

The building was part of the ‘walkways in the sky’ idea - with access on level one for pedestrians lifted above the car-only streets (hence the reason you have to get two escalators to reach reception). The views from Liverpool Vision’s tenth floor eyrie, though, are really something.

Interesting fact: The building uses water that seeps into the Merseyrail tunnel. The water is pumped out of the tunnel at a near constant 12C. A heat pump using thermal storage uses this water to heat and cool the building, giving minimal energy usage.

2) Merseyside Police HQ

With its tall, narrow windows and castle-like walls, the Merseyside Police HQ sums up, perfectly, 1970’s police thinking. It’s siege mentality made solid, a formidable fortress along the side of the old Liver-pool. The building was ‘designed’ by Liverpool City Corporation architects when, let’s just say, our friendly Police force were a little less touchy feely.

Interesting fact: The John Lewis Q-Park was forced to erect opaque screens when it was pointed out that users (suitably fitted with a pair of Swarovski 10×50 binoculars) could see the police at work/or not.

3) Royal Hospital

The prognosis isn’t good for the Royal. As we type, work is underway on the £350 million new Royal Hospital. The existing building, designed and constructed by Holford Associates between 1963 and 1965, was bedevilled from the start. The poured concrete didn’t set, the design didn’t meet new fire safety laws and had to be hastily redrawn. Eventually, the hospital opened in 1978. And we’ve hated it ever since.

Interesting fact: The hospital’s cluster of buildings are home to the city’s second-largest art collection. Over 2,000 canvases do their best to cheer inmates, sorry, patients up. They’ve got their work cut out.

4) Princes Dock Car Park

Built by John Foster in 1810-21 to an outline design by John Rennie, Princes Dock was named after the Prince Regent, later George IV. It’s now berthing point for the world’s biggest cruise ships - whose passengers must gaze at this mundane multi-story (actually the recipient of a Park Mark award for safer parking) and wonder: What were UNESCO thinking? This is the World Heritage waterfront? When you hear that the really quite nice King Edward Tower (pic) was refused planning, and this execrable building got the green light, it makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Interesting fact: During the dock’s construction, Foster ordered more stone than was needed, and diverted it to his family’s company. He resigned when this was discovered.

5) Queen Elizabeth Law Courts

Build to resemble the old Liverpool Castle in its later, derelict years, the courts even feature uneven towers, supposed to resemble crumbling turrets. it’s an odd look for what’s supposed to be a solid, dependable crucible of law and order. Still, that was the 80s for you. The architects were appropriately named Farmer and Dark.

Interesting fact: Plans are afoot to relocate the Magistrates’ Courts here - by adding a further two floors above the building’s Derby Square entrance.

6) Mann Island

Sorry, we had a moment, last summer, when we started to warm to the jagged edges of Mann Island. Then the weather hit it, which it was always wont to do. And Open Eye got flooded out, and the shiny black fascias became foetid with run-off rainwater, splashed with salty Mersey spray, and it suddenly looked less like its self proclaimed ‘Liverpool’s Number One Address’ and more like angry flotsam and jetsam. So, no, we’re back with the Carbuncle Cup’s “wrist-slashingly awful design” opinon. Still, people chose to live here; Steven Gerrard for three (he’s snapped up three apartments in the building.)

Interesting fact: The site actually was an island, until Georges Dock was filled in to provide building land for the Port of Liverpool Building, in 1898.

7) Unite Grand Central

This favela in the sky is probably the worst of the glut of city apartment buildings thrown up at the turn of the century. Graceless, soulless, and lacking any merit whatsoever, this grey student castle rises above the recently spruced up Lime Street gateway. After spending £20million on station’s forecourt, our Council approved these halls, home to 1200 bedrooms, one of the largest student properties in the UK.

Interesting fact: Liverpool now has 34 million city centre student flats*

*figures correct at time of going to press. Probably more by the end of the day

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